Lie to Me
by alliedforces74
Summary: Shepard makes one last stop before turning himself over to the Alliance following the destruction of the Bahak system.


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He took a deep breath and straightened out his uniform for what must have been the hundredth time. It wouldn't matter once he stepped through the doors anyway. The second she turned around she would see past his best attempt at composure, the illusion of control, the sharp, precise appearance of his well turned out and highly polished shell. There was so little holding him together now. She would see the dark circles under his eyes, the weight loss, she'd hear it in his voice. There was a part of him that wanted her to. But then, there was the part that wanted to shut it out, shut all of it out. Shut her out.

But this was his last stop. Before Omega, before turning himself in, before accepting responsibility for his actions. He couldn't do any of that before saying one last goodbye. He closed his eyes and breathed deeper, trying to steady his pulse. He had been going over this conversation in his head for some time. She would know what happened, there's no way she couldn't have. But what would she think. What would she think of him? How would she look at him? How _could_ she look at him? He couldn't even look at himself. 304,942.

The doors gave an airy hiss and the same aggravating machine as his previous visit greeted him. This time, however, it recognized his biometrics rather than calling him Shadow Broker. He shooed it away as he began the long walk towards her. Her back still turned, typing away furiously, he wondered if she was even aware he stepped through the door.

His shoes clacked on the floor as he dug in his heels with each step, listening to the faint sound of the storm that raged outside, and the muffled hum and dull roar that emanated from the consoles within. He could hear his heart rate accelerate as he drew closer, and his vision started to tunnel towards his goal. His fear was telling him to turn back and go, but his body and instinct drove him closer. She spun to face him and was greeted by a warm smile; a smile that slowly faded to a look of concern and sadness.

He stood in front of her, trying to look anywhere but in her eyes, trying to form his words. He suddenly felt the weariness he had been hiding from the crew rush to the forefront. His shoulders slumped, he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger and he swallowed hard before looking into her eyes. Eyes that never left his.

"I like what you've done with the place." Humour. For a soldier it was an essential, necessary tool for survival in most situations. It kept the despair at bay.

She simply continued to look at him. Waiting for him to speak. If she was anxious she wasn't showing it. Despite her relatively young age, she radiated the calm, control and poise reserved for most matriarchs. He found it somewhat intimidating.

He reached for the OSD in his pocket and felt the cool metal in his hand before extending it to her.

"My report on the Alpha relay. Hackett didn't want it. Thought maybe you could use it." 304,942.

She looked down briefly at the OSD before returning to him, taking it out of his hand and watched as he walked over to the couch and slumped down, his fatigue setting in. He hit the button for the shudders and his gaze was drawn to the raging storm from which he was sheltered. She walked over and joined him, and fixed her eyes on the window as well.

"Please say something."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. That I did the right thing. That everything's going to be alright." He leaned forward and stared at the floor. "Lie to me." 304,942.

"You did the right thing." She said softly, "And that's not a lie."

She placed her hand on his knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze before he suddenly rose from the couch and walked towards the window.

"Doesn't matter anyway." He said, letting his head drop once more. "Alliance needs its scapegoat, and I'm it. Hackett said he was pleased Cerberus hadn't 'stripped away my sense of honour'. Doesn't change anything." 304,942.

"Give yourself some credit, Shepard." Just the sound of her voice was enough to send wave of comfort through his body. "You saved billions of lives."

"Yeah." He shifted his weight a little. "Sacrifice the few to save the many. With the touch of a button." He traced his hand over the windowsill where the console would have been. "Three hundred and four thousand, nine hundred and forty two."

"Shepard…" She stood and slowly approached him.

"No one should have that power. I'm not a God."

He swallowed his feelings and looked as far away from her as he could, squeezing his eyes closed tight, holding everything back as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"If there had been any other way, I know you would have taken it."

"I've made a living out of killing. But I've never felt like this. Like a murderer. I couldn't even get the warning out. We only had minutes before...When Kenson killed herself and knocked me out, we only had thirty minutes when I woke up. Thirty minutes to the end." He shifted his weight again, avoiding her stare.

"You know I can get you into hiding."

"I know. And you know why I can't do that. I have to go back. If we're at war with the Batarians when the Reapers come, we'll have no chance." He turned again and made his way towards her main consoles.

"So you came to say farewell then." She said quietly as she followed behind.

"Actually, I need a favour." He finally managed to look in her eyes as he tried to shake off his guilt. "I'll be docking at Omega, and I need to secure safe passage for my crew, save for me and Joker. We'll be met by Alliance."

"Aria and the Shadow Broker are not on great terms, but I'll do what I can." She replied earnestly. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. I need you to prepare as many as you can for the arrival. They're coming. And fast. The Batarians want my head and they'll get their witch-hunt." He stepped a little closer and lowered his voice. "We're not ready, Liara. Not by a long shot. I need you to keep fighting. Keep telling them what's coming." There was a hint of strength in his voice that he hadn't heard for some time.

She simply nodded in response, staring deep into his eyes, that look of concern was still there.

"I want you to know, I think about you all the time." He started to reach out to her but pulled his hands back quickly, shoving them in his pockets. "I'm going to miss you." He looked at her with a sense of longing he hoped he'd never have to experience again. It was the same way he felt after first seeing her on Illium, not understanding why she had been so distant and cold. He understood now. He understood perfectly. Those feelings had been washed away when they had defeated the Shadow Broker together. The collectors gone, and Liara free from her vengeful pursuit, they were finally able to rekindle some of what they had lost over those two years. It was a bittersweet victory. This one was just bitter. It was better to distance himself in the event his trial resulted in a life-long prison sentence. Or death. He was a war criminal after all.

Before he could turn and walk away, Liara pulled him in for a warm, comfortingly strong, and tender embrace. He took his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around her waist. Sinking into her shoulder as she stroked the back of his head. He held her as tight as he could.

"You are the most selfless, courageous, and strong willed individual I have ever known. There is so much good in you. And you are loved. So much. By your friends and your crew. Never forget that. No matter what happens." The feeling of her lips against his ear as she spoke her kind words felt so right. He squeezed her tighter in return and let out a heavy sigh.

They held each other in silence a moment longer, neither of them wanting to relinquish their grasp on the other. Eventually he pulled back just enough for their noses to touch, and he held her cheeks in his hands. His could feel the heat behind his eyes as he placed a delicate kiss on her lips. He wanted more than anything to stay there with her. Just exist with her. But there was always something to fight. _The time for individual happiness had come and passed._

He slowly took a few steps back, withdrawing from her gentle grip. She folded her arms in front of her and tried to force a smile.

"Prepare, Liara. As best you can. And promise me you'll stay safe."

"I will, Shepard."

He started walking backwards towards the exit, nodding his head as he went before reciting, "What we must fight for is to safeguard the existence and reproduction of our race and our people."

"Yes."

He stopped walking. "Do you know who said that?"

She shook her head and he turned around and walked towards the door.

"Adolf Hitler."


End file.
